2:05pm EST It seems all our machines just dropped off the net at once. I'm guessing this is some kind of data center issue. I'm investigating now.
2:15 EST - My best guess is that the culprit is a MySQL overload. The MySQL server is unresponsive, and my auto-reboot attempt failed. Currently waiting on the data center to restart
The other boxes seem to be working, except of course for MySQL connections.
2:20 EST - Apparently it's not MySQL but an internal networking problem at the data center. They said:
Our network engineers have identified an issue with our network currently trying to get it resolved. Your patience is appreciated in this matter.
Hopefully, this should be back to normal soon.
3:10pm Still out. I just talked to a customer support guy who confirmed they're still working on the issue. This issue is affecting the entire data center, not just the cornerhost servers. Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do but wait for them to solve the problem. :/
4:30pm The issue appears to have been resolved.